Wow, your story looks as much like mine with my mother, it is very toxic and has always been, not only to me, but to the whole family, she asked, unlike strangers, when she meets her for the first time, she claims to be a Christian, but sometimes 90% of the time that hates her, rude and evil, I do not explain but I try to understand what I do , I`m tired of being treated, I`m not going around her fo is hateful, rude and bossy I just can`t explain, but I`m trying to figure out what I`m doing, I`m tired of being treated like she treats me, something else happened at Christmas 2018, I decided to cut them out of my life for good , I`m so tired of being treated this way, and then she behaves like it never happens when she wants to talk to me. Good luck God bless My children too are aware of this blatant preference. They ask questions about why their cousins get more attention, etc. and it breaks my heart. That`s impressive. It`s awful. I hope your husband will defend you. This is a piece of advice we received when we were married – you are against your family, he should oppose him. But yes, she has the right to do what she wants, but you have the right not to turn away from it. Forgive her. But no need to put herself in the line of fire if she refuses to stop. Here, Boundaries does a great job of creating a biblical framework that helps you understand what your really responsibilities are, what are the unreasonable demands, where you should draw the line and how you can do it without guilt. But if he does not listen, take one or two more to have each charge determined by the evidence of two or three witnesses.
Loving people is what God wants from us. We must not remain isolated, but we are encouraged to love one another, as the Lord loves us. But have you noticed how hard it is to love some of the people you are related to? You may have been seriously injured by a brother, parent or even your adult child. You may not have spoken to that person in years. It seems of course that it would be much easier to break up the relationships with the family members who have done us so much harm. There are all kinds of proverbs that confirm these sinful feelings in our hearts, the one that immediately comes to mind is: “You can choose your friends, but you cannot choose your loved ones.” Ouch! The thing is, God, by His infinite wisdom DID choose who would be our family. It seems that healing broken relationships within our family should be something we are assiduous towards. It`s so relieved and refreshing to see.
Even though I felt so at peace and lighter by not contacting my narcisses, there was a BIT OF TEENY in me wondering if it was too hard. Then I remember the consistent behaviors for which I never apologized, and I felt better about my decision. Your comment is actually therapeutic. I didn`t know how to express this hidden, strange and strange abuse, but my head and my heart were crushed, so I know it was real. THANK GOD FOR PEACE AND LIFE! How about you? I was very angry and hurt how much I was harmed by my family. But during all these years of therapy, what you said was the answer. I had to forgive them. In each culture, there are certain elements that are supportive of family life, some that are neutral and some that are harmful.
If we, as God`s people, want to have harmonious families, we must think biblically about our culture and oppose the customs that go against God`s plan for the family. I would like to focus on three lessons: again, I am not saying that abuse is your fault. But if you have done (or continue to do) things that harm the other party, they can act out of that pain.